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Anxiety Weighs Heaviest
09:02
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I should have known a long time ago that solitude was my only mortal ally. I walk with God, yet the space occupied by everything else rings ever more hollow.
Hollow.
I have always been like a ghost in this world. Going here and there, the wind blowing by with not an eye on me. This maudlin world cycles around the clock... Oh, what a sad, sad clock it is. Judgment comes ever closer.
A forest with no branches to grasp onto. What a foreign concept! It's okay, I'm used to it by now. Just go on wherever you were going. I wonder if this counted for anything. I can contemplate my regrets for years to come.
A foreign world, yet one I was born to. Nothing here ever made sense to me. I barely speak your language. Even now, I can only convey the simplest of thoughts. So forlorn... Can anyone understand this? If anyone could, would they even care?
They come and go... There's nothing new under the sun... It's been this way all along...
More noise to occupy bandwidth on some websites, left to collect dust. What an achievement. Trust me, that breakthrough's just around the corner.
Just leave me in the past. It's where I've always been and maybe always will be. Just go on with your life. Don't climb into this hole. You only think you care. It hurts more than you know. You can't carry this cross. Once you learn who I am, you'll run like everyone else. Just leave. There's no point in any of this but to spread the Gospel in the prayerful hope I can leave this hellhole just a bit better than it was when this started. Don't reply. Don't stay. You wouldn't anyway. No teams, no groups, no sharing of ideas in the warmth of a sunset... Just more vacuous coldness in this desolate nightmare we call earth. I should have known a long time ago that solitude was my only worldly ally. I walk the forests alone. I scroll the internet alone. I record my music alone. I release my music alone. I wallow alone. I shatter alone.
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2. |
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Wistful. A cup full of depression. Dawn and dusk. Mankind and his echoes, those dreadful echoes. Words of philosophy, of entertainment, of cultures... It all rings so empty...
PATER NOSTER QUI ES IN CÆLIS
INCOLA EGO SUM IN TERRA
NON ABSCONDAS A ME MANDATA TUA
Leave me in the darkness
25 years into this mess. My perspective can change, but this longing doesn't. What is it? A God-given commandment, or a thorn? For so, so long I've yearned for something the world seems unable to give me.
PATER NOSTER QUI ES IN CÆLIS
INCOLA EGO SUM IN TERRA
NON ABSCONDAS A ME MANDATA TUA
Leave me in the darkness
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Nocturnal Iridescence
BOZKATH:
Top of the page.
MISCELLANEOUS:
Middle of
the page
SWORD OF HIS MOUTH:
Bottom of the page.
I DO NOT CHARGE "$7" FOR MY MUSIC. IF YOU SEE IT LABELED LIKE THIS, IT JUST MEANS FREE CREDITS RAN OUT. PLEASE NOTIFY ME.
... more
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